It has been a huge honour to be given the opportunity to hold my first national show in the place of my birth. When you're talking identity, normally one of the first things people ask is where you're from. For me, moving away from Gisborne at a young age, I felt a complete disconnection. Unable to answer those core fundamental questions like "where are you from, who are your family..... bla bla bla" Throughout my life, I have heard a lot of references thrown around without really understanding them. "Ohhhhh jesus, you're a gizzy girl" has been a common one. I found that sentence highly confusing and laughed it off. However, after spending the better part of a month in Gisborne I now kinda understand it somewhat. Gisborne was once a city that thrived with industry and culture. It is the largest city on the East Coast, first place in the world to see the birth of the sun each new day... but it seems devoid of joy. I found streets that seemed cold and listless. And if I am being completely honest, I've never heard the N and C-word thrown around quite as liberally and vilely as I did from every creed of human there!
The people seemed weighed down, trudging through streets of grey, faces devoid of emotion. Speaking to a colleague this week, after having left, they found it much the same when doing a street art festival over there. Almost like the people were hiding and scared to interact.
And with the tumultuous history of Gisborne, it's somewhat understandable.
Gisborne 2021
The 8th of October, 1769 saw the arrival of the Endeavour and Captain, James Cook, to Gisborne's Kaiti Beach. The years that ensued saw NZ embroiled in bitter wars between the settled people of the land and its new claimants. Despite this, Gisborne flourished, growing into the largest Maori populated city in the country (boasting 49% of the demographic) as well as being one of the highest speaking Te Reo regions in NZ. Stats they should be proud of. Tradition and honour and deeply rooted in that place.
The traumas of the past, however, echo and are evident in the mistrust of the people to anything new. Especially not some white-ish?? looking chick, whos a bit too smiley and larger than life asking if she can get up in their face with a camera. I confuse people because they can't instantly put me into a box. Peoples brains need the labels and conformity... why?
When approaching this exhibition, I really wanted to make sure that I was photographing people that represented the area.... its locals and personalities. Those people that define a place and make it what it is for a moment in time before passing on the mantle.. And I did find a few of these bright sparks. I actually spent most of my time camped out at Kaiti beach. Imagining what that day would have been like when Cook stepped his feet upon the glittering white sands. What it would have been like to live in a thriving city you watch slowly leaching of colour as more industry leaves the area and its people struggle to cling to the vibrancy.
Gisborne Meatworks - Photo V Hoy Creative 2021
I wanted to try to submerge myself in the past to better understand the people of the present. To understand a fraction of Gisborne.
I met some beautiful souls. Radiating people full of laughter and light. Some of whom I was fortunate enough to photograph while they shared a window into themselves with me.
One older Maori gentleman stole my heart in particular. Every morning he arrived bright and early, armfuls of crayfish to offer all the tourists. He showed us amazing photos of his life travelling the world performing and you could tell he was a person who thrived when basking in the laughter of others. But when I asked him if he'd give me permission to photograph him, his demeanour dropped like I'd slapped him in the face.
Fear danced in his eyes. For someone that once literally danced in the spotlight, it drew me to a puzzle as to what had happened along his path. I found him a delicious enigma. Here was this beautiful radiating light, who craved human approval but when offered the chance to step into himself and be seen, shrunk away at great speed.
And this is what I found with most people I felt draw to ask. Whilst they loved what I did, no one was particularly keen on the idea of being photographed themselves. There was a fear for nearly every one of them around being seen... being themselves.... being.... of acknowledgement. I found this really hard to wrap my head around. For me, fear is a beautiful thing. A chance to break myself out of patterns, acknowledge old scars and do amazing things in the process. But for others, this is a thought beyond terrifying.
I think this is why we are struggling so much as a society. We are desperately trying to wipe ourselves off from the murk of our mistakes and the boxes we feel we have to carry, whilst busily hiding from the world by pointing out the faults of others.
We are the further perpetrators of the cyclomatic damage. Righteously, we justify the categories we think others should conform to in order to appease not having to face our own. God knows I'm guilty of this myself from time to time.
I believe this is why this body of work is so important. That we look at the ripples we send out upon the world. The cause and effect of something as simple as a single word cast carelessly in the wrong direction.
My deepest gratitude to the people contained within this series. They allowed their pain, themselves to be fully seen. They knowingly stepped into fear in order to work through their own labels and pain, bravely, lovingly and in so doing, I hope they will inspire and guide others to do the same.
We must face the traumas of the past, acknowledge them, dissolve them of their power through love and then move together as a united species. We must end the cycles that are binding us to a fate that we can not return from that we are creating through our own division. We are one.
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